Friday Films: Woody Allen's Diminishing Returns

A few weeks ago, we went to see Woody Allen's new movie, Whatever Works. You know what doesn't? Anything in this movie. Larry David as an actor. The relationship between his character and a young girl who is little more than a dumb southern caricature. The script. Many of the things that have worked for Woody Allen before.

The movie starts off with a long rant (not sure exactly how long, but definitely too long) directed straight at the camera, directly to the audience. Larry David's character, Boris, bitches about everything--seriously, everything--from health to love to how he isn't a likeable guy, and the whole rant, I sat there waiting for it to end. But even once it ended, there was still Larry David, shouting his way through a weak, wooden script. I wondered if it wasn't too late to sneak into a different theater to see Away We Go for a second time.

Now, Woody Allen has used a direct address to the camera before. He's used it well. The opening of Annie Hall, with Alvy Singer's monologue (not bitching, but two jokes) is brilliant, and it tells us that we're going to like this neurotic character:



He's actually visited a lot of bits in Whatever Works before, but has done it better: the older guy dating a young girl? I liked it better when it was called Manhattan. Even Woody Allen playing miserable, like in Crimes and Misdemeanors, was so much better than Larry David doing so in Whatever Works. It doesn't seem like the same director. At this point, it's almost like Woody Allen is doing a poor imitation of Woody Allen.

I hated this movie. I want the world of a movie to convince me--sure, it can be outlandish, or postmodern, or whatever clever trick a director might want to use--but I want it to be a world I can inhabit. I don't want to see the seams and be distracted by the implausibility or the bad script or the lack of acting. Nothing in this movie captivated. It was a mess, with no redeeming characters, no good or even memorable dialogue, and nothing original to say. The worst part, though, had to be the fact that Woody Allen, who used to be perfect at casting (see "Hannah and Her Sisters") got everything in this movie so wrong. There wasn't anything there to take with you, except a wish that you hadn't spent your time and money on this awful, miserable train wreck, and a memory that at some point, Woody Allen was a great director.