Tired of Directv's stupid ads having the monopoly on ruining classic movie scenes?
Well, have I got a product for you.
Thanks to Yoostar, anyone with $170 dollars to spend on absolutely useless shit can ruin classic scenes from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sabrina, and the Blues Brothers. Just hook it up, film yourself, and insert yourself into any of these movies (and more!). Just like the directors intended, I'm sure, when they made these films. Haven't you thought, so many times, "Well, Oscar-winner Tom Hanks was pretty good in Forrest Gump, but I could do better"? Now is your chance to prove it.
I actually came across an ad for this product at the Onion, so I really hoped it was a joke. I still really hope it's a joke. I hope it's some elaborate, misguided anti-piracy campaign. Like those commercials you sometimes see before a movie with a cell phone ruining a scene. Anything but this being a real product, aimed at some target audience that ostensibly likes movies (enough to buy a product that will let them be an a movie scene).
My biggest question is this: who the hell is responsible for this? I mean the whole thing, soup-to-nuts. Who is accountable? I want to know who the investors were who thought this was a product the market needs, the studio execs who signed off on the clips...everyone who had a hand in this. I know there's a ton of completely useless garbage out there, but come on...this one does terrible things to movies. Is nothing sacred?*
Now, if you're still holding that $170 dollars, wondering what you can do with it, here's a suggestion: send it to me. Believe me, you'll feel a lot better about feeding a writer for a month than you will about wasting it on Yoostar. And you won't be hurting movies. Hey, you know what? For $170, I'll even quote all of these scenes with you!**
*"Is nothing sacred" is a line from a scene in "Rushmore" that you will be able to insert yourself into using Yoostar. No, I'm just kidding. I think Wes Anderson has more integrity than that.
**Some restrictions may apply.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Friday Films: Now You, Too, Can Ruin Classic Movies
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3 comments:
wow, this really better be a joke! Seriously. . .$170 just so YOU can watch yourself crappily destroying a movie.
I guess if it was in the Onion, though, it luckily probably is a joke.
Whoa, ho!
These suckers are real!
I found them for sale on the Bloomingdales website. Shocking that Bloomies would be the department store of choice...
On the yoostar website, they have clips of yoosers (they don't call their users yoosers, but they should) performing scenes with the yoostar contraption.
They are hideous: Check out this scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
It's real, alright.
Yeah, this is unfortunately real. I'd much rather see someone do a really amateurish, but loving home video of a movie than see them buy a Yoostar. Maybe I should have changed my offer. For $170, we can tape record our own versions of these movies!
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